New Moon in Cancer: Self-Love is the Only Love

You are not here to make choices you have already made. You are here to understand why you made them.” The Oracle from the Matrix

Self Love is the only Love


Welcome to the first New Moon of summer. We rang in the new season with last Tuesday’s Summer Solstice when the Sun reached its highest peak in the sky. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, El Sol appeared to stand still, thus giving us the longest amount of sunlight in a day.

It brought lots of light on our physical plane as well as to our spiritual dimensions. It asks the questions, “Where can we light up the world with our unique soul offering? What area of our life do we need to bring more conscious awareness to, i.e., shed light on? What do we see coming to light in the next six month as we move towards the Winter Solstice?”

Today’s New Moon at 7 degrees Cancer, encourages us to highlight self-care. The New Moon is the dark lunation phase. We can step into the Dark to prioritize the love for all aspects of self with this nurturing Cancer moon.

Cancer is a feminine water sign. It honors the flow and receptivity of life. It is a cardinal sign that focuses on the interior world e.g., our home and self. The Moon embodies our feeling nature, emotions, habits, memories and subconscious patterns.  It represents the mother and the capacity to be nurtured and nourished. This month, the challenge is to expand our concept of self-love.

The Moon possesses no Light of her own and therefore is the container of our Darkness. During the New Moon, the Moon stands next to the Sun. And with the Sun’s Light we get glimpses of our Shadow and access to the patterns that drive our lives.

Fortunately for us, we do not have to wait for specific lunations for this insight. Life constantly gives us a look into our subconscious patterns should we take time to reflect.

Whenever we experience an upset, irritation, disappointment anywhere on the spectrum from mild to severe, we get a chance to ask, “What pattern do I see? What do I need to understand about this choice that I have already made on an energetic plane?”

We get a chance to be grateful to that person or circumstance that allowed us access to these unproductive patterns which normally we are happy to ignore for the false sense of self they bring.

We get the chance to shift our false perspective of the external world. We no longer need to use people, culture, and social messaging to measure our beauty, our success, and our self-worth. Instead, we can flip the Light on and see the external world for what it is… an access point to our Darkness.

I use this word intentionally because we have been socialized to be afraid of the Dark; to fear all that is black; to demonize it; to enslave it and to treat it as inferior to the Light. Yet they must equally exist if we are to truly experience Self. The Darkness contains all the choices we have already made and all our potential. It is a dynamic, creative force that gives birth in the Light.

The modern spiritual mantra of yearning only for the Light is dangerous sport for Light is bred from the Dark. There is no separation. And when we attempt to be and live in only the Light, without reference or receptivity of the Dark, struggle persists. It reminds me of the Oracle from the Matrix movie when she said, “You are not here to make choices you have already made. You are here to understand why you made it.” And this we cannot do until we embrace our Darkness.

To live in the Light is for us to get a peek into the Darkness. This conscious awareness does not allow us to escape or eliminate our Shadow. Nor will we ever exist independently or separate from our subconscious patterns. The Light helps us to see and understand so that we can do it differently.

Usually when we speak of prioritizing self-love, we book a massage, start a exercise routine, make time to meditate or journal. Taking care of the mind and body are absolutely important. Nevertheless, the ultimate health of the mind and body resides in self-awareness and acknowledgement of our wholeness.

To truly see ourselves, both the Light and the Dark; to own our Shadow, instead of projecting it onto the other; to allow all aspects of ourselves without fear of judging ourselves unlovable; to seek to understand our choices rather than to deny them; to sit in gratitude of the external world as a reflection of Self, well this is true love. Self-Love is the only Love and it awaits us the Dark corners of our Soul.

This New Moon we will get a great deal of cosmic support for our journey to the Dark. Today Neptune goes retrograde. Neptune is the planet that often creates illusion and self-delusion. When it goes retrograde, it peels back the veil and give us more clarity of sight.

Jupiter in Aries also challenging us to turn our attention to self. This focus on me, me, me. This allows us to tap into our deepest wisdom and acknowledge that love is love but Self-Love is the only Love.

New Moon Look Into the Dark Activity

My blogs speak about the general movement of the planets, so it is what we experience as we all stand under the same sky. Your natal chart, however, reveals your specific SoulMap for this life.

When you refer to your natal chart, you get a clearer picture of what area of your life the Moon energy will highlight.  

So far in this activity we have looked at the house associated with the New Moon sign. This month we are going to look at areas of your chart that have signs that share a similar method of operation aka mode. In addition to the element associated with each sign, every sign is also classified into 1 of 3 modes: cardinal (initiators); fixed (stabilizers) and mutable (transformers).

Cancer is a cardinal sign and so is Aries, Libra and Capricorn. When the Moon shines on the Cancer house in your natal chart, it also highlights the Aries, Libra, and Capricorn houses as well. There is more to it, of course but this is a start.

Follow the steps below to find out what areas in your life that will be highlighted on this New Moon. Discover where you initiate new action.

PART I: Step 1: Cast your natal (birth chart)

1. Go to where you can do this for free. There is a tab for “Extended Chart Selection”. You will need your birth day, year, time, and place.

PART II: Find CANCER and the other CARDINAL SIGNS in your natal chart

Do the following steps:

Step 1:  Look for the symbol for CANCER, CAPRICORN,.ARIES + LIBRA. They look like this:

Step 2: Look for each sign on the outer rim of the natal chart circle


Step 3. Look for the Astrological House (or life area) that CANCER rules


  • The Black box shows the symbol for CANCER
  • -The Green oval show the house that CANCER rules in this person’s natal chart


NOW repeat the same steps to find the Astrological Houses (or life areas) that the other CARDINAL SIGNS: CAPRICORN, ARIES and LIBRA rule. They will be 90 degrees from each other.

Step 4: Find the Meaning of the House ruled by CANCER, CAPRICORN, ARIES and LIBRA

Below to see the meaning for each Astrological House and determine where you need to initiate action this New Moon



This moon, highlights Cancer on the 1st house cusp (see chart above) and emphasis the physical body

It also highlights Capricorn on the 7th house cusp and emphasizes relationships and collaborations (not shown on chart above)

Next Aries is on the 10th house cusp and emphasizes career (not shown on chart above)

Finally, Libra is on the 4th house cusp and emphasizes home (not shown on chart above)

YOUR TURN: Fill-in-the-blank below

This New Moon I will focus on my fill-in-the-blank

This moon, highlights Cancer on the # house cusp (see chart above) and emphasis the fill-in-the-blank

It also highlights Capricorn on the # house cusp and emphasizes fill-in-the-blank

Next Aries is on the # house cusp and emphasizes fill-in-the-blank

Finally, Libra is on the # house cusp and emphasizes fill-in-the-blank

New Moon Rituals

Cancer is all about loving nurturing care. It is a sign that represents what you feel at home with i.e. your emotional comfort zone. New Moon in Cancer is a great time to spend time at home with family and friends.

Avoid unproductive Cancer traits like excessive moodiness or being emotionally smothering. Go with the flow this New Moon.

  1. Take a bath

Cancer is a water sign so any comforting water activity is perfect. Enjoy a warm bath. Indulge by lighting scented candles, adding essential oils and listening to relaxing music.

2. Enjoy time at Home

Cancer represents the home. Perhaps it is time to initiate a home project. There are many ways to make your home more enjoyable and projects can include redecorating, decluttering to a dream renovation.

3. Spend time with friends

Invite friends over for a home cooked meal or a pot luck. Enjoy games, a movie or some long overdue heartfelt conversation.

4. Beach Getaway

Get away for a weekend, a day or a few hours. Go sit, stroll or dip into the ocean. If you are not close to water in Nature, then double up on Ritual #1.

5. Child’s Pose

Add an extra child’s pose to your exercise routine. Balasana or child’s pose is a gentle pause. It provides a rest before initiating a more active pose. It provides a perfect moment for self-reflection.

6. Thank your Mother

Spend time with your mother or anyone who nurtures you. It does not matter if your Mother is here or in spirit. The lines of communication goes beyond this dimension. If you are on good terms, then share with her why you are grateful to have her as your Mother. If you are not on great terms, then be thankful to her for giving birth to you and giving you passage to this Earth plane.

7. Nurture yourself

Take time to nurture yourself. With the Moon in Cancer it is a good time to start a new self-care routine. Start with this Moon and see what results you have in 6 months time at the Winter Solstice.

The Beat of the New Moon

Meghan Trainor’s I Love Me is an upbeat confident view of self-love. And the lyrics, ” But I can see it clear when I am looking in the mirror” Well that mirror is the people and situations that show up in our lives. When we use them as a mean for insight into our patterns, then they give us access to and the opportunity to love all aspects of Self. That is something to sing and dance about.

Happy New Moon in Cancer!

Don’t be afraid of the Dark!


This Post Has One Comment

  1. Eva

    Beautiful— thank you 😊

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About Monique

For over 23 years, Monique has helped women confidently answer the poet Mary Oliver’s question, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”